from the www.careercruising.com website (picking careers I would be well matched with)

1.Politician
2.Corporate / Commercial Lawyer
3.Judge
4.Civil Litigator
5.Lawyer
6.Criminal Lawyer
7.Probation / Parole Officer
8.Foreign Service Officer
9.Certified Public Accountant
10.Clergy

Looks like I may know what I'm doing afterall! :-) Soon you will have to call me Senator The_Attorney!

I guess this isn't really that my job is weird, just that it (my job) combined with where I work makes things...interesting. I am in the process of merging (NASD and NYSE Regulation), and we got a present from the merged entity today. In most mergers, you would get a hat, or a t-shirt (and we got those as well). Today Emergency Red Cross fanny packs were passed out.

Contents:

1-Flashlight (w/ separate package of batteries)
1-Space blanket
1-mini first aid kit (really just band-aids and wet naps with a few extras)
1-Whistle
1-Glow stick (12 hr)
2- water pouches (22 oz each)
1-Food bar (1200 cal)

How weird is that? What do they know that I don't? Am I expected to invade Nicaragua? Not to mention that I could cobble together a better kit from raiding the office (except for the space blanket). After 9/11 the Exchange passed out glow-in-the-dark flashlights and glow-in-the-dark emergency whistles (they don't have a ball inside, so they work no matter what). That was in direct response to many of the issues faced by those trekking down the Twin Towers (emergency lighting failed, making the stairs rough to get down). This is more of a "if the world ends, you are good for a day" kind of thing. Not to mention, if you are passing out this kind of thing, you should follow the government guidelines of a 72-hour kit (the theory - I am assuming pre-Katrina - is that within 3 days the gov't would be able to provide assistance).

New York! It's safe! No, really! Ignore the burning asbestos and toxic waste filled building two blocks away! EVERYTHING IS FINE! ALL SPORTING EVENTS WILL PROCEED AS SCHEDULED! WE WILL COLLECT URINE SAMPLES IN THE MORNING! ANYONE NOT PROVIDING URINE SAMPLES WILL BE SHOT! (shout out to Zappa!)

The_Attorney

I don't like to post to my blog. I figured out why - I am a coward. (this is not a revelation to those who really know me). Allow me to explain.

I am not the kind of person who can post the daily events of my life. Never kept a diary, or a journal. I just don't think that my daily life is that interesting. Nor am I satisfied posting memes or quizzes. What I really want to post about are the thoughts floating around in my head. The struggle I have with conflicting ideas and ideologies, with finding my place in this world. However, I don't want to be judged for those thoughts. :-)

Therefore, I have created a new blog. No, I'm not telling you what it's called, or where it's located. I have posted a couple of times already, and offended myself at least a dozen times. It gives me a place to throw out the ideas I am playing with, to struggle with them in black and white. To critique them, refine them, and (hopefully) engage in a dialog with complete fucking strangers. I am not setting out to shock or offend. I am striving for something that I find I have to little of in my life, honesty (again, not a shock for those who know me). It is a place where I need not pretend. Where I don't care if I piss you off, where I don't care what you think of me. Oh my god the freedom! I really can't explain how amazing it feels to be free from perceived judgment (perceived being the operative word). For those of you reading this, I am not saying that you are a narrow minded Puritan out to ruin my fun and call me out as a callow misogynist. :-) I am just saying that I, and probably everyone else in the world, censor myself constantly (can you imagine?). It is amazing to have a place to just speak. Yes, I realize the inherent cowardice in hiding behind a blog to get feedback on what I'm thinking. I am okay with that.

I am posting this to let you know that the posts on here are likely to be few and far between. Mostly updates on my friends who are ill and the occasional cool quiz/meme that I can't resist. I hope that some of you eventually find my new blog (without knowing its mine, of course), and get involved in the discussion.

Love you all,

The_Attorney

Just stop. Really. I don't know what the fuck I did, or said. I don't really care, just stop fucking with my friends.

Yet another female friend of mine has been diagnosed with cancer. She just had a dual lumpectomy, and is getting ready to start chemo. After they scan the rest of her body for cancer cells. She will then have to take estrogen repressing medication to essentially drive her body into early menopause in order to give her the best chance that it won't return.

If you know me, and you are female, get checked for everything. Cancer, cysts, rabies, everything. Please.

The_Attorney

Your Score: Cary Grant

You scored 19% Tough, 14% Roguish, 28% Friendly, and 38% Charming!

You are the epitome of charm and style, the smooth operator who steals the show with your sophisticated wit and quiet confidence. You are able to catch any woman you want just by flashing that disarming smile. When you walk into a room, the women are instantly intrigued and even the men are impressed. When you find yourself in trouble, you are easily able to charm your way out of it, or convince others to help you. You're seen as dashing, suave and romantic. Your co-stars include Katharine Hepburn, Irene Dunne, and Joan Fontaine, stylish women who know a class act when they see it.

Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

I'm really not kidding. I am a HUGE fan of Heroes on NBC, and tho' the season has had up's and downs (tis is it's first season afterall) it has really started to deliver.

Now, on to why I now have complete faith in the producers and writers to deliver on their promise: Like Lost, Heroes has had several websites mentioned/shown/hinted at in the show itself (business cards flashed onscreen, election websites, etc). One of the earliest was the badguys website (well, their public cover - primatechpaper.com), and if you visited you could submit some information "to apply for an open position." I did so, giving them my e-mail and a phone number. This was 3-4 months ago. Since then I have been receiving e-mails from a secondary character for awhile now, giving tidbits and bits of background, but nothing too interesting.

Last night, an hour before showtime, my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but it's not something I give out, so I answered it. It was one of the main characters. He is running for congress in the show, and last nights episode was the election. The call was a recorded reminder by the character to get out and vote. It was about 30 seconds long, included some good "political" speech stuff, and was totally unexpected. I FREAKED OUT!! I admit it, I did a little dance. How cool is that?? I love the fact that the show is willign to spend the time crafting that kind of detail into the show. Anybody else get a call? (Lazydolphin, I'm lookin' at you).

The_Attorney

So I'm watching Season One of Scrubs on DVD, checking out the commentary, and they happen to start talking about the Muppet Show (had nothing to do with the episode). They were discussing how strange it was to them that they were having conversations with the Muppet's in character during breaks. They would ignore the puppeteers, and talk sports with Kermit.

My response to this cool concept? I want to be on the Muppet Show (or Sesame Sreet) so I can turn to Kermit or Big Bird during a break and say "motherfucker". Why? Not sure really. How would Kermit respond? Laughter? Yell at me? Turn slowly and call me a "cocksucker"? I just know I want to find out. Also need to get a copy of Meet the Feebles. Last time I saw that I was on a 1/4 of mushrooms and had to leave 'cause I started whimpering and was freakin' Smitty out. I spent the night rediscovering my right hand. I kept forgetting I had two hands, as I was using my left to smoke and that required great amounts of focus. Then I would use my right hand to reach for something and freak out 'cause I had two. Then girls started taking their shirts off. Ahh, Garrison D, how we miss thee.

The_Attorney

I like October Road. It's getting hammered by critics and bloggers who find it both trite and fantastically overwritten. "How could this guy have left town and not talked to anyone for 10 years??!! Never happen!!" This is a comment from a critic. Really? You don't know anyone who took off after high school and was never heard from again? I should note that the first episode was pretty poorly written (waaay over the top, strange dialog choices). However, I caught an interview with main character guy who said (in a moment of candor) that the show didn't really get on it's feet until the 3rd episode. The rest was setting up the relationships.

Last week was episode 3, and he was right. the set-up is there for the most part, the relationships have been sketched out, and now we get to watch it unfold. Is the kid his? Will cool guy date the bartender? Will agoraphobia guy ever be able to leave his house again (it's been 5 years. He seems to be almost starting to date pizza girl, even broaching the topic of "maybe going in some night?" Same as going out, but you stay in.)?

Perhaps the most important question that has been answered is yes, I am in fact still in love with Laura Preppon. Watched her grow up and go to college on That 70's Show, now I get to see her life afterwards. I dig it. There is something strong yet entirely feminine about her that I find fascinating. I almost typed that I would watch her in anything, and realized that is not accurate. I think she's been in a few really dogshit independent films, so not anything. But most stuff.

Anybody else watching OR?

The_Attorney

Greetings loyal reader,

I love my job. I am working on a trial right now, and obviously can't tell you what it is, but I can tell you that I just won the last series of motions. In so doing, I created new law. The concept I was pushing for had never been openly discussed in any previous cases, but there were hints that it might be possible (there was also a case where the dicta seemed to indicate that it wasn't possible). It certainly wasn't possible under SEC rules or NASD rules, but I argued that it was under NYSE rules. I wrote a great motion (really), and found out yesterday that I was successful. I can't tell you how great a feeling it is to influence and change the laws that govern my industry's conduct. As the merger draws closer (for those who do not know, the enforcement divisions of the NASD and NYSE are supposed to merge this quarter), I can't wait to have an even larger impact.

In other news - I AM FINALLY GOING ON VACATION!!!!! I have been unable to get anyone really excited about going on vacation (the one couple I actually got motivated with couldn't mesh schedules with me. The law school crew is trying to do a get together in Cleveland in August, but I grew up there, so not a real vacation), so I decided to just fucking go. Mid-April I'm heading over to Nassau for 3 nights of all inclusive drinking/eating/tanning coupled with a healthy dose of gambling (it's next door to Atlantis). Thank God!

The_Attorney

Howdy loyal reader!

I found a really cool program to download: http://www.schmap.com/

If you are taking a vacation soon, think of this as Fodor's meets Google. This program outlines the hot attractions, the hot restaurants, the historical sites, and then allows you to click and be taken to the Schmap of the city. It becomes an interactive map of the city, showing you where it's located. etc.

The Schmap for NYC plus the Schmap player was a ~9 mb download.

The_Attorney

P.S. - I found this item at Lifehacker : "Lifehacker recommends the software downloads and web sites that actually save time."

First, the update: I am being audited (being an attorney is apparently one of those things that triggers "heightened review", or so I've been told). No big deal, as the amount in question is $200. However, I think the IRS has overstated what I owe (the income in question relates to certain securities I sold during 2005), and I may take my time and be thorough as opposed to just cutting them a check (which was my instinct). Hell, I'll be sending them a check for $200 as they send me my refund for $1200. Your tax dollars at work!

Second: Did someone out there get me a subscription to Spin? I would love to be able to thank you properly, so step up and claim your thanks!

The_Attorney

I am now the proud owner of this. I have resisted the urge to buy for two reasons: 1) Music has never really been that big a part of my life. When I was in college, I had 3-400 cd's stolen from me. I never really got around to replacing them (maybe 2 dozen or so). I have friends who always had music around them - either they were making it, or the radio was on, or they were listening to headphones, or whistling, etc., but aside from having a soundtrack to my actual life (I have a weird ability to walk into a room, or pause a conversation, or turn on the radio, just as a ridiculously appropriate song comes on) I rarely listen to music (unless I am online, in which case I can listen to stuff on the internet, or stuff I have downloaded). 2) Given my lack of need for an ipod, I couldn't justify the expense.

However, I used to be a stockbroker (long story). While a broker, I used the account I had at the Firm as my checking account. I kept the account open after I left, but given the restrictions on what I can own given my current position, the account has dwindled as things were sold off. It's down to about $160-170. So I called my guy last week to have him sell off the last of the stuff and send me a check. His secretary reminded me of something cool - when I was using the account as my checking account, there was a rewards program associated with it. Score! While I hadn't accumulated enough points to score a free trip (which is what I really wanted) I did manage to pick up the ipod, and this. How lazy am I? :-)

The_Attorney

Woes Velcro. Think this is the name of some alt-band wannabe drummer? Nope, he's an electrician.

From the AP's story on the Ohio blizzard: "You can't even shovel it," said Woes Velcro, an electrician who had to dig out from a foot of snow so he could go to work fixing busted water pipes and furnaces in Toledo, Ohio. "You have to take it off in layers."

The_Attorney

'Cause this headline made me giggle.

"Nigerian kidnappers release seamen"

Great, now if only the hostages would be set free. Did they not look at it before they ran with it?

The_Attorney

UPDATE: The headline has been changed to read "Nigerian kidnappers release hostages"

February 20th is National Pancake Day! This entitles you to free pancakes at IHOP! Really.

I am looking to pick up a new mmorpg. I have considered WoW, but not sure. Vanguard released yesterday, anyone heard anything? The only other one I know is coming up is Conan. Any and all guidance is appreciated. Whacked out opinions welcome! Talking out your ass is fine! Well thought out critiques from members of my flist who are in the business also welcome!!

The_Attorney

Your Score: Cary Grant

You scored 19% Tough, 14% Roguish, 28% Friendly, and 38% Charming!

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